This not meat

Me: Eat your meat.
Thing Two: This not meat. This meatBALLS. But not meat.

Settling an argument

Dapper Dad was creating coffee and playing "Singin' in the Rain" on the iPod as the boys danced in the living room. At the end of the song in the movie, a police officer stares at Gene Kelly as he sheepishly walks away at the end of the dance. At the end of the song in our house, I heard:

Thing 2: No, Bubba, no, Bubba, NOOOOO! I not the peace-man! I not the peace-man! I not the peace-man! I am ... I am ... I am ... !

Thing 1: I'm Gene Kelly.

Thing 2: NO! I'm Gene Kelly! You the peace-man! I'm Gene Kelly!

Dapper Dad: BOYS! KNOCK IT OFF! YOU CAN BOTH BE GENE KELLY!

Candy chatter

Thing Two has a bag of Sour Patch Kids, Dapper Dad's favorite candy.

Thing Two: I going to save these. I going to share these with Daddy, Mommy and Bubba. (Insert about a minute of chatter, while he holds the bag.) I going to just have one, then save them for Daddy. (chomp, another minute of chatter) I going to have a green one for my second one. (chomp, chatter) I going to save the (chomp) Sour Patch Kids (gulp) for Daddy. Here a red one for you, Mommy. You like red Sour Patch Kids? (chomp) I have a yellow one for Daddy and a yellow one for me. (chomp, chomp) Here a green one for you. You have a red one and a green one. (chomp) Daddy likes yellow and orange. (chomp) This one for kitty. (chatter) I eat this one because kitty not in Mommy and Daddy's room. I eatin' it. (chomp)

Me: What are you doing?

Thing Two: I eat one more. Then I going to save for kitty, Mommy, Daddy and Bubba.