J. J. Hardy

Thing Two (to the tune of "Luke and Leia" from Star Wars (think Luke staring at the two suns)): Jay Jay Jay Jay Jaaaaaaay Jay. Jay Jay Ha-a-a-a-a-ar-deeeeee. J. J. Haaaaar-deee Har- dee Har-ar-ar-deeeeeee. Har-ar-ar-ar-aaaaaaar-Har-ar-ar-ar-ar-deeeeee.

Me Joe Mauer!

At Matt's baseball game, Thing Two turned his baseball cap around and ran back and forth behind the crowd for most of the game yelling, "Me Joe Mauer! Me Joe Mauer!" The next day, he ran around behind the crowd at our neighbor's baseball game, but with his hat facing forward.

Me: Are you Joe Mauer?
Thing Two: No! Me Jason Kubel!

Small-market vs. large-market player

Thing One (while playing catch with himself in the living room): I play for the Red Sox. I used to play for the Twins, but I get more money now.

Joe Nathan blew it

After Joe Nathan blew a save against the A's, Thing One gets on his pretend telephone.
Me: Who are you calling?
Thing One: Daddy. (in a grouchy voice, into the phone) Joe Nathan hit a guy and blew it! (back to me) Daddy's going to call Joe Nathan and tell him.

Me!

During the Twins game,
Things One: The score is two to zero.
Me: Who has two?
Thing One: Minnesota.
Thing Two (raising hand): Me!

Fasket catch

While excitedly watching the Twins game on TV,
Thing One: He made a fasket catch!
Me: Do you mean a basket catch?
Thing One: No, a fasket catch. He caught the ball and everyone was really happy.