And here I thought the weekend was going well...

Mommy was out of town for a weekend of cinema. She called and left a message for the boys. I thought they should hear it first, so I put the phone next to Thing 2's ear. He didn't quite understand that it was prerecorded Mommy, so he answered and responded to her voice. This is what I heard.

Thing 2: Hi ... Love you ... I not.

After Thing 1 got his turn, I listened to the message. It went like this: "Hi, boys, this is Mommy ... I love you ... and I hope you're having a fun time with Daddy."

Like his face

Thing Two: Mom, I want to tell Albert Pujols that I like his face.

Sorry shirt

Thing Two: I'm not wearing my sorry shirt. It's over there.

Blasters

The boys were playing Star Wars.

Thing One to Thing Two: Great shot, kid.
Me (being cute and quoting the movie): Don't get cocky.
Thing Two: Why did you say that?
Me: Well, that's the rest of the line. From Star Wars.
Thing Two: Cocky's not in that movie!

Wingman

Sometimes, I talk with the boys after they've gone to bed. I often bring Thing 2 up and put him in Thing 1's upper bunk so we can all talk. Thing 2 always insists on bringing one (or more) of his stuffed "guys" with him. I finally got annoyed the other night as he mulled over which "guy" to bring.

Dapper Dad: You don't need a guy.
Thing 2: Yes I do.
Dapper Dad: No, you're just going up here with Bubba and me. Why do you need a guy?
Thing 2: So I'll know someone there.

A lesson in logic

Thing One to Thing Two: Your eyes are cucumbers.
Thing Two: (Silence)
Dapper Dad, trying to help Thing Two defend himself: If his eyes were cucumbers, he wouldn't be able to see out of them.
Thing One to Thing Two: Your nose is a potato.
Thing Two: Um, um! No, I wouldn't be able to get my finger in it.