Haircut

I cut everyone's hair with a razor the other day.
Thing One (crying): I don't like this! I would rather be dying than have a haircut with that thing!

Robots

Thing One: I need to turn everyone who hasn't died into robots.
Me: Why?
Thing One: So they'll never die. Because robots don't die. Until the metal gets old.

When I die ...

On vacation, running up to Grandpa,

Thing One (in a sing-song voice): When I die, you'll already be died.

Trying to cheer up

After Great-Grandpa died last Tuesday, I was trying to explain death to Thing One.
Thing One: Why you have tears coming out your eyes?
Me: I liked Great-Grandpa a lot. I thought he was real swell. And I'm sad I can't talk to him anymore. And Great-Grandma is sad because Great-Grandpa was her husband. And Grandpa is sad because Great-Grandpa was his daddy.
Thing One (after a pause, as if to process that): I'm going to make cards for Great-Grandma and Grandpa.
Then he ran off to his art table to get started right away.