My little boys

While Thing One helped Thing Two into his sleeper sacks for the night,
Me: You're going to make a good daddy some day.
Thing One: I hope I don't have to work when I'm a daddy so I can stay home with my little boys.

Distracted?

Dapper Dad: Thing Two, do you want powdered sugar or syrup on your pancakes?
Thing Two: Me!
Dapper Dad (disgruntled sigh): Thing One, do you want powdered sugar or syrup on your pancakes?
Thing One: Pancakes.

Concerned citizen

I made hot chocolate for the boys, and as I put the marshmallow bag away, I put a marshmallow in my mouth whole.

Thing Two: No! Choke! Bite!

(He was worried I would choke and was instructing me to take a bite)

Surprise art

Thing One (at the end of the evening after making secretive art during the afternoon): Oh! I forgot to make the word on my surprise. On my art project. My surprise, but you can't look at it.

Me: You can go ahead a write your word.

Thing One: I don't know how. How do you write "Happy Birthday, Mom"?

We spell it out in letter stickers because I'm not allowed to look at the artwork to help him.

Thing One: I'm all done with my card-- my surprise.

Thunder

While talking on the phone, I heard loud banging from the bedroom. As I go to check it out, I find Thing One standing on an upside-down laundry basket flipping the light switch on and off while Thing Two bangs on the closet doors.

Me: Get down from there! And stop that. The light switch isn't a toy.
Thing One: We're making a thunderstorm.

List

Thing Two lists the things he wants to eat: Pizza! And pahpoh (popcorn)! And amomomos (animal crackers)! And Bubba's candy! And dink (drink)! And fruit!