Mystery substance

Thing Two: I think there's mouse poo in the bathroom. It's small and brown and doesn't taste like chocolate.

Scared

School has started, and with it came a new earlier bedtime. No one is tired at that time, so this has turned into a two-hour-long fiasco every night so far. In an attempt to trim that down, I took the kids to run the bases at the park before bedtime. It got dark, so we ended up walking home by moonlight.

Thing Two: Mommy! Me scared!
Me: It's okay. Just stay right by me. What are you scared of?
Thing Two: I scared something get me. I scared a polar bear bite off my chocolate head or a polar bear bite off my chocolate diaper.

Mmm ... animals

Thing One (to his animal cracker): I'm going to dip you in chocolate and bite off your tasty head.

Concerned citizen

I made hot chocolate for the boys, and as I put the marshmallow bag away, I put a marshmallow in my mouth whole.

Thing Two: No! Choke! Bite!

(He was worried I would choke and was instructing me to take a bite)

These gummy balls

While showing Thing Two how to feed "gummy balls" (plastic ball-pit balls) to the hippopotamus puppet,
Thing One: These gummy balls are filled with chocolate, brownies and frosting. They have FROSTing in them!

Me!

While eating chocolate popcorn,
Thing One: Who likes chocolate popcorn?
Me: Me.
Thing One: Me, too! Raise your hand if you like chocolate popcorn! Who likes it?
Me (raising hand): Me.
Thing One (raising hand): Me.
Thing Two (raising hand): Me! (the first time he's ever said "me")