Election

Thing One: I want to be vice president.
Me: Well, how are you going to get started?
Thing One: You can get started for me.
Me: How will I do that?
Thing One: You get a microphone. And then we can turn the light on outside so that people will come. We could call Nana and Papa to come.
Me: What will you do when the people come?
Thing One: They could vote in here. We could live at Nana and Papa's house.
Me: Why would we live at Nana and Papa's house?
Thing One: So that people could vote here.

Some vice

Thing One: Mom, can you get me some vice?
Me: Why?
Thing One: I want to be vice president.

Debate

Thing One (upon learning that we were watching the presidential debate rather than the vice-presidential debate): I want to watch the other two!