Just a regular old bedtime

Thing Two (getting out of bed two minutes after being tucked in): I have to go to the bathroom.
Me: You just went.
(Holds his arms out)
Thing Two: Well, I have to go.
Me: Then go potty and get back in bed.
He does that.

Two minutes later ...
Thing Two (coming out of his room): My eczema patch! You forgot lotion for my eczema.
Me: Okay. (lotion lotion lotion) Now go to bed.
He does.

Two minutes later ...
Thing Two (coming out of his room): I need to blow my nose. Isn't that amazing? What's it going to be next? It's just amazing.

Rock-a-bye, Bubba

Thing Two (softly singing, while lying in bed at bedtime):
Rock-a-bye, Bubba. It time to go to sleep.
Rock-a-bye, Bubba. It time for sleep now.
Rock-a-bye, little Bubba. It time for you to shut your mouth.
Rock-a-bye, little Bubba. It time for you to sleep.
(little rock-out, jam session here) Go to sleep! Go to sleep! It bed time!
(and softly again) Rock-a-bye, little Bubba. It time to go to sleep.

Scared

School has started, and with it came a new earlier bedtime. No one is tired at that time, so this has turned into a two-hour-long fiasco every night so far. In an attempt to trim that down, I took the kids to run the bases at the park before bedtime. It got dark, so we ended up walking home by moonlight.

Thing Two: Mommy! Me scared!
Me: It's okay. Just stay right by me. What are you scared of?
Thing Two: I scared something get me. I scared a polar bear bite off my chocolate head or a polar bear bite off my chocolate diaper.

Bedtime thunderstorm

Thing One (after several minutes of laying in bed and discussing the storm outside, specifically the possibility of lightning hitting a tree and causing it to fall on the house): I'm worried about the lightning.
Me: Well, you don't have to worry. Let's put the monkeys around you. Here's one to sit by the window. This one can sit on the other side. And this one can snuggle with you. Everyone tucked in? Now just let them worry about the lightning and you don't have to.
Thing One: Okay. But I'm still worried about it.
Me: You are?
Thing One: Yes. The monkeys aren't real.
Me: Umm.
Thing One: How about if you worry about the lightning?
Me: Yes. Okay. I can do that. Then you don't have to. I'll look out the windows and check the trees and keep track of the lightning, and I'll worry about it.
Thing One: Okay. Just look out and worry about a tree if it falls on our house.
Me: Okay.
Thing One: You don't have to worry about a tree falling on the neighbors' house.
Me: Okay.
Thing One: Not even the neighbors who are our friends. You don't have to worry about that.

I didn't hear you

I told the boys to pick out books to read before bedtime. But everyone got sidetracked playing baseball with Dapper Dad instead.

Thing One (while finally getting in his jammies): Mommy, when you told me to pick out books, I didn't hear you because someone hitted the ball so HARD!

(pause)

Don't tell Daddy.