Haircut

I cut everyone's hair with a razor the other day.
Thing One (crying): I don't like this! I would rather be dying than have a haircut with that thing!

Curly hair

After the second day of preschool,
Thing One: Mom, can Viviana come live with us?
Me: Who's Viviana?
Thing One: She has curly hair and she wears a ponytail, just like you.