Just a regular old bedtime

Thing Two (getting out of bed two minutes after being tucked in): I have to go to the bathroom.
Me: You just went.
(Holds his arms out)
Thing Two: Well, I have to go.
Me: Then go potty and get back in bed.
He does that.

Two minutes later ...
Thing Two (coming out of his room): My eczema patch! You forgot lotion for my eczema.
Me: Okay. (lotion lotion lotion) Now go to bed.
He does.

Two minutes later ...
Thing Two (coming out of his room): I need to blow my nose. Isn't that amazing? What's it going to be next? It's just amazing.

Rock-a-bye, Bubba

Thing Two (softly singing, while lying in bed at bedtime):
Rock-a-bye, Bubba. It time to go to sleep.
Rock-a-bye, Bubba. It time for sleep now.
Rock-a-bye, little Bubba. It time for you to shut your mouth.
Rock-a-bye, little Bubba. It time for you to sleep.
(little rock-out, jam session here) Go to sleep! Go to sleep! It bed time!
(and softly again) Rock-a-bye, little Bubba. It time to go to sleep.

Shitty blanket

Thing Two woke up Dapper Dad the other day, while kitty was laying on him.
Thing Two: Why Shitty sleep on you?
Dapper Dad: I guess Kitty is cold.
Thing Two runs out of the room and comes back with comforter from his bed.
Thing Two: Here you go, Shitty. Here a blanket for you. Shitty can lay here.

Bedtime thunderstorm

Thing One (after several minutes of laying in bed and discussing the storm outside, specifically the possibility of lightning hitting a tree and causing it to fall on the house): I'm worried about the lightning.
Me: Well, you don't have to worry. Let's put the monkeys around you. Here's one to sit by the window. This one can sit on the other side. And this one can snuggle with you. Everyone tucked in? Now just let them worry about the lightning and you don't have to.
Thing One: Okay. But I'm still worried about it.
Me: You are?
Thing One: Yes. The monkeys aren't real.
Me: Umm.
Thing One: How about if you worry about the lightning?
Me: Yes. Okay. I can do that. Then you don't have to. I'll look out the windows and check the trees and keep track of the lightning, and I'll worry about it.
Thing One: Okay. Just look out and worry about a tree if it falls on our house.
Me: Okay.
Thing One: You don't have to worry about a tree falling on the neighbors' house.
Me: Okay.
Thing One: Not even the neighbors who are our friends. You don't have to worry about that.

Lost?

Me: Where's Thing Two?
Thing One: I don't know. Maybe in my bedroom. I hear his collar.
Me: That's Kitty.
Thing One: Oh.