A good day

After his flu shot, Thing One wouldn't take his Band-Aid off, insisting that it fall off on its own. Four days later, while on vacation,

Thing One: My Tazmanian Devil Band-Aid fell off at Dale's house! This is a good day!

When I die ...

On vacation, running up to Grandpa,

Thing One (in a sing-song voice): When I die, you'll already be died.

Urgent question

Thing One walks out of the bathroom after doing his business, wearing just his underwear and holding his pants.
Thing One: Mom? I haven't washed yet, but I'm just wondering why you can't see very, very good when you come out of the carbonite (á la Han Solo in Return of the Jedi)?

Some vice

Thing One: Mom, can you get me some vice?
Me: Why?
Thing One: I want to be vice president.

Debate

Thing One (upon learning that we were watching the presidential debate rather than the vice-presidential debate): I want to watch the other two!

Henry's new family

After telling Thing One that his friend, Henry, would be a big brother because his mommy has a baby in her belly,
Thing One: Will Henry get new parents?
Me: No. It's just like you, when we had baby Thing Two, we were still your mom and dad.
Thing One: Oh. Will Henry live in a different house?

I didn't hear you

I told the boys to pick out books to read before bedtime. But everyone got sidetracked playing baseball with Dapper Dad instead.

Thing One (while finally getting in his jammies): Mommy, when you told me to pick out books, I didn't hear you because someone hitted the ball so HARD!

(pause)

Don't tell Daddy.

Making up

There was a small scuffle in the bath over the use of some bath toys the other night. Much to my surprise, a mere three minutes later I hear:
Thing One: We're brothers, Thing Two. And we're buddies! This is so fun, Thing Two. We're having a good time!