French toast and caramel fried bananas for supper

Thing Two: I don't want to be rude, but this French toast tastes like [unintelligible].
Me: What? Did you say it tastes like hippopotamus?
Thing Two: No! I said it tastes like DEAD hippopotamus.

Baa Baa Byack Sheep

Thing Two: Baa, Baa byack sheep have you any wool? Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Three bags full. One for my master and one for my Dane and one for my me and one for my little boy who lives down the lane. Baa, baa, baa, baa-- byack sheep have you any wool? Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Three bags full.

Dirty rat

The boys, holding a toy block: Can we throw this away?
Me: No. Why?
Thing One: It has a dirty rat on it.
Me: What are you talking about?
Thing Two: This (points to an outline of a mouse).
Me: No. We're not going to start throwing away toys. If we throw away the toys we won't have any toys left to play with.
Thing Two: Can we die the dirty rat with that purple thing? (Translation: Can we kill the picture of the mouse on our block with the fly swatter?)

Scared

School has started, and with it came a new earlier bedtime. No one is tired at that time, so this has turned into a two-hour-long fiasco every night so far. In an attempt to trim that down, I took the kids to run the bases at the park before bedtime. It got dark, so we ended up walking home by moonlight.

Thing Two: Mommy! Me scared!
Me: It's okay. Just stay right by me. What are you scared of?
Thing Two: I scared something get me. I scared a polar bear bite off my chocolate head or a polar bear bite off my chocolate diaper.

Take a Leaf with Me

A few weeks ago, at a birthday party Thing One hosted for two stuffed animals, he set up all the animals and Thing Two on blankets to watch an imaginary movie called "Take a Leaf with Me" on an imaginary screen (a pillow). Apparently, it was really good because everyone is watching (the pillow/movie) again today. Plot synopsis follows:

Thing One: It's about a leaf taking a person off the tree. When the leaf says, "take a leaf with me," it really means "take a person." It's a really short movie.

Little creatures

The exterminator has come to rid us of the ant problem I've been struggling with.
Thing One: Are the ants going to die?
Me: Probably.
Thing One: But they're just little creatures.

Mmm ... animals

Thing One (to his animal cracker): I'm going to dip you in chocolate and bite off your tasty head.

List

Thing Two lists the things he wants to eat: Pizza! And pahpoh (popcorn)! And amomomos (animal crackers)! And Bubba's candy! And dink (drink)! And fruit!