Like his face

Thing Two: Mom, I want to tell Albert Pujols that I like his face.

J. J. Hardy

Thing Two (to the tune of "Luke and Leia" from Star Wars (think Luke staring at the two suns)): Jay Jay Jay Jay Jaaaaaaay Jay. Jay Jay Ha-a-a-a-a-ar-deeeeee. J. J. Haaaaar-deee Har- dee Har-ar-ar-deeeeeee. Har-ar-ar-ar-aaaaaaar-Har-ar-ar-ar-ar-deeeeee.

Me Joe Mauer!

At Matt's baseball game, Thing Two turned his baseball cap around and ran back and forth behind the crowd for most of the game yelling, "Me Joe Mauer! Me Joe Mauer!" The next day, he ran around behind the crowd at our neighbor's baseball game, but with his hat facing forward.

Me: Are you Joe Mauer?
Thing Two: No! Me Jason Kubel!

Small-market vs. large-market player

Thing One (while playing catch with himself in the living room): I play for the Red Sox. I used to play for the Twins, but I get more money now.

I didn't hear you

I told the boys to pick out books to read before bedtime. But everyone got sidetracked playing baseball with Dapper Dad instead.

Thing One (while finally getting in his jammies): Mommy, when you told me to pick out books, I didn't hear you because someone hitted the ball so HARD!

(pause)

Don't tell Daddy.

Joe Nathan blew it

After Joe Nathan blew a save against the A's, Thing One gets on his pretend telephone.
Me: Who are you calling?
Thing One: Daddy. (in a grouchy voice, into the phone) Joe Nathan hit a guy and blew it! (back to me) Daddy's going to call Joe Nathan and tell him.

Can we make a dugout?

Thing One: Can we make a dugout in our yard?
Me: We can't make a dugout because we don't have a baseball diamond back there.
Thing One: Well, we could get some balls and get some bats. We could get one more person, and that person could be the umpire. Mommy could be the hitter. Daddy could be the pitcher, and I could be the catcher.
Me: And then we could build a dugout?
Thing One: Yeah. Out of blankets and we could bring a whole big chair out and we could bring soft comfy blankets and we could have a hard surface so if we sit on it so we wouldn't zoom way down there under the seats or the people would just fall right out. And those things that would just hold it up, we could just get little bars maybe made out of pots or a stack of books. Don't you think that's a good idea?
Me: Yes.
Thing One: Okay. Let's do it after supper. We could ring the neighbors' doorbell and ask them if they want to watch our baseball game, and if they say "no," we'd just go the next ones. Let's do it after supper.